He closed his eyes, sick to his gut because she was grateful? He’d nearly gotten her killed. He was the fucking grateful one, grateful that she’d ever spoken to him again, that she’d kept him in her life. That she still loved him was his own little miracle. “Molly—”
“But you didn’t give me closure, Joe. After you got me to the hospital, you went back and handled the situation on your own, and by ‘handled’ I mean you went all vigilante on their asses and put your life in jeopardy in a very large way.”
At the memory of her battered body lying still on the sidewalk after her fall, he jerked to his feet, unable to sit. “I’d put you in that situation,” he said tightly. “You were innocent—”
“And so were you,” she said, standing too, going toe-to-toe with him, her voice rising.
But his voice didn’t. She was the passionate one in the family, the only one who let her emotions fly high and proud and loud. Very loud. He buried his, always. “I was never innocent,” he said.
“You were! Joe, you never did what they wanted you to! It wasn’t your fault that they were asshole punk-ass thugs. You got to me as soon as you could.”
“Not soon enough.”
They stared at each other. Finally, Molly broke the eye contact. She blew out a breath and they both looked down at the leg she still had so much trouble with.
“I got myself into trouble,” she said quietly. “You know this. They told me if I just sat there and kept my mouth shut, they weren’t going to hurt me. They just wanted to scare you. But I got impatient.”
“This is a shock.”
A small smile curved her lips at his quip and, relieved, he reached for her hand. It was the one thing he knew how to do for her, defuse her temper.
She held on and squeezed. “I got impatient,” she said again. “And I got hurt because my fourteen-year-old self came up with the brilliant idea to try and escape. Please let that sink into your thick skull, Joe. When you went after them and nearly killed them, and then got in all that trouble because of it—”
“I couldn’t just let them get away with what they’d done.”
“Of course you could have!” she said. Actually, she was back to yelling. “The system would’ve taken care of them. You saw to it that they were caught, Joe, and that was amazing. You were just a kid and yet you still managed to do what no one else could. But then you took it upon yourself to mete out the justice.” She dropped his hand and gave him a hard push to the chest. “And because of that, you were taken away from us. From Dad. From me. And I know you feel guilty, Joe. I get that. But don’t you get it yet? I feel guilty too.”
He was dumbfounded. “What the hell for?”
“Because every day that you had to be in the military and become even tougher and harder than you already were, that was my fault. Now you’re so far removed from us that I can’t even reach you half the time. I thought you weren’t ever going to find your way back to feeling human, and then Kylie came along. She changed you. She brought you back to me. And now you’re going to blow it all over again by taking away her closure too.”
“How?” he asked, baffled. “How am I taking away her closure?”
“Because you’re going to finish this for her, without her. I never got to look those asshole thugs in the eyes and say, ‘You did your worst and I’m still breathing’! And I needed to do that, Joe! And so does Kylie. She needs to be in on the play for Kevin. You have to see that, right? Tell me you see that.”
Just bringing all this up had him feeling . . . raw. Hollow. And something else he hadn’t felt in a long time. Emotional. “I wasn’t trying to take away your closure,” he said. “But God, Molly, you almost died. I had to—”
“Be at my side,” she said. “That was all you had to do and all I ever needed.” She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. “Listen, you can’t protect me all the time, and no one expects you to. It’s the same with anyone in your life, okay? Kylie’s a big girl. She’d rather have you at her side while she fights her battles than have you fight them for her.”
Shit. That actually made sense. Which meant she was right.
She stepped closer and put her hand on his chest. “I need you to really hear this, Joe, and believe me. And then let it go. And then I need you to understand you’re doing the same thing all over again to Kylie and she’s not going to be as forgiving as your sister. See, I have to forgive you. We’re blood. I’m going to always love you whether I like it or not. But Kylie doesn’t have to forgive you at all. And if she doesn’t, and she dumps your sorry ass for real, I’m afraid you’re going to go back to . . .” She clamped her lips tight together, her eyes going suspiciously damp.
“To what?” he asked softly.
“To the man who doesn’t smile or laugh or let himself feel.”
He closed his eyes. “Molly,” he breathed, and pulled her in for a hug. She held on tight, so damn tight that it was almost impossible to swallow the lump in his throat.
She was right. He couldn’t protect her all the time and he had to accept that. Same with Kylie. And if he loved her—and damn, but he really did—he had to let her do this.
I love her?
Holy shit. He actually had to drop his ass to his couch because his legs got wobbly. Pulling out his phone, he texted the guys that there was going to be a change of plans. Kylie would go in first and talk to Kevin and get her damn closure if it killed him.
And it might.
They’d have her back, they’d make sure she was safe, and when she was satisfied by whatever answers she could get, they’d be there to finish it if needed and to drag Kevin’s ass to jail. “I’ve got to go,” he said.
Molly smiled. “Tell her hi for me.”
Joe drove through the early morning wondering why the hell it’d taken him so long to realize that this was the only way it could go down.
And then there was the bigger epiphany of the night, the one he was trying damn hard not to dwell on.
He loved Kylie, a fact far more terrifying than any job he’d ever taken on.
He parked in front of Kylie’s place. The lights were no longer on. It was four thirty in the morning. She was undoubtedly asleep. He hated to wake her, but this couldn’t wait. There wasn’t much time before they’d meet up with the team.
But she didn’t answer the door. Or her phone. And when he helped himself and broke in, he just about stopped breathing.
She wasn’t home.
He knew exactly where she’d gone. And why. He’d cut her out and now she was doing the same to him. He tried calling her again. Still no answer.
Joe was trained to handle himself in any situation, but nothing had prepared him for this moment. For knowing she’d gone off on her own—because of him.
He should never have tried to shield her. He should’ve just gone with her and trusted she could handle whatever they’d found, together.
Worse, he realized something else—that as much as he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, he’d lost her anyway by not trusting her. In his life, he tried really hard not to do anything stupid, but he’d definitely failed there. People tended to make assumptions based on words, but in Joe’s experience, people rarely said what they really meant. So he didn’t go by words. He went by steady, consistent actions.