“You know darn well what I’m talking about, young lady! I’m talking about that smut that you publish! I have never been more humiliate than I was today when Macy Powers showed me the magazine article that talked about your erotic novels,”
she said with open disgust and Jamie tried not to wince, but she couldn’t help it.
Well aware of the man beside her, Jamie turned as far as she could away from him, almost huddling into herself as she quickly explained, “They’re not erotic novels, mom.”
“Don’t you dare lie to me, young lady. I flipped through one of those horrible books that you write and I found inappropriate material in it! Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was? Do you even care that you’ve humiliated your poor sister, hmm?”
“I-” she started to explain, but of course her mother cut her off.
“I cannot believe this is how you wasted the college education we provided for you! Do you have any idea how hard your father worked to send you to college and this is how you repay him?” she demanded and it took everything she had not to remind her mother that they hadn’t paid a cent for her college education. That was Caitlyn and she hadn’t even bothered to graduate or really attend for that matter.
By the time it was her turn to go to college her parents told her there was no money for her because they had used up all the money they set aside for Caitlyn to “find herself.” When she flunked out of three private, expensive, colleges her parents decided that Caitlyn had worked too hard and simply needed time off which they paid for. Jamie on the other hand had worked her butt off and put herself through college. She graduated top of her class and never regretted one second of it because that experience showed her that she could do anything even if no one else thought that she could.
“I cannot believe you pulled this petty juvenile stunt. Was it for attention or just to embarrass your sister? Are you really that petty that you can’t be happy for your sister? You really felt it was necessary to humiliate her like this?”
“Mom, this has nothing to do with-hey!” she gasped, startled when her phone was suddenly yanked from her hand. She turned around in time to see Nick end the call and shut the phone off before he tossed it onto the backseat.
“You just hung up on my mother,” she said, more shocked than anything.
“I know.”
“She’s going to be mad,” Jamie said, worrying her bottom lip even as her stomach coiled tightly in guilt.
It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been the one to hang up or that she hadn’t done anything wrong, she still felt guilty. Her mother always made her feel bad about everything. When she was a kid it was so much worse because she truly believed everything her mother said. She’d become so racked up with guilt that she’d end up making herself sick. When she moved out things slowly got a little bit better and she realized that her mother was laying everything at her feet even things that she had no control over and hadn’t done.
Unfortunately knowing that her mother overreacted didn’t help her stomach.
She couldn’t shove away the sense of dread over what her mother would do now.
Would she leave messages of her crying? Give Jamie the silent treatment? She wasn’t sure what passive aggressive nonsense her mother had in store for her and really shouldn’t care, but she did. She couldn’t help it.
“Do you want to go see if we can rent a bike and hit the road for a few hours?”
Nick asked.
She gave him a forced small smile as she shook her head and murmured, “No, thank you.” Even though she’d rather do that than sit in her room feeling guilty she couldn’t. She hated when her mother was mad at her, probably because it felt like another rejection. She knew her mother had too much power over her, but she couldn’t help it. Maybe by the end of this tour she’d figure out how to deal with her, but it hadn’t happened yet.
A few minutes later they were in the hotel lobby waiting for the elevator when Nick reached over and took her hand into his and gave it a small squeeze before letting it go, startling her. She looked up at him to find him scowling down at her. Great another person she’d pissed off. This day was just getting better and better, she thought.
“There’s nothing wrong with your books, Jamie. They’re great. They’re not trash and they’re certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. I don’t know what’s going on in your family, but I can guarantee you that you didn’t embarrass your family. If anything your mother and sister are probably jealous,” he said with a shrug as if what he just suggested wasn’t ludicrous. Her mother and sister would never be jealous of her. They were beautiful, popular, and married while she barely had anyone that she would consider a real friend, kind of okay looking now and didn’t even have a man interested in her.
Still…….
“Why do you think they’re jealous?” she found herself asking.
Nick simply shrugged as he gestured for her to step into the elevator before him. “I know women,” he simply said and she found that she couldn’t really argue that point, but sadly it didn’t really clear the matter up for her.
“Meaning?” she prompted when he didn’t add anything else.
“Meaning,” he said as he pressed the button for the fifth floor, “that she wouldn’t be making a huge deal out of this if she wasn’t jealous. For whatever reason your mother and sister are too petty to be happy for you. They’re upset about the amount of attention that you’re getting so they’re trying to tear you down a bit to make themselves feel better,” Nick said, stepping out of the elevator next to her as she thought that over.
Was it possible? she wondered as she walked past Nick’s door and pulled out her keycard. It did seem that they acted this way every time anything good happened for her. They also went well out of their way to make her feel bad for it and did whatever they could to shine the light back on themselves. Not that she cared. She really didn’t like attention, especially all the attention that she was receiving on this tour. The only reason she was sticking it out and not running for the hills was her contract and the “List.”
Well, both lists.
Thanks to this tour she was trying new things and learning about herself.
She’d worked really hard to get to this point and maybe, just maybe it was time to stop allowing her family to make her feel like garbage. Maybe she should…..should…..