—and again I remember the lace scarf, the agony of one of my infinite deaths—
—but I don’t forget the lesson I learned on my last journey through the worlds. Each universe’s version is an individual. Triadverse Theo is a deceitful, homicidal son of a bitch. My Theo is one of the kindest, most selfless friends I’ll ever have. As for the Theo holding me close at this moment, all I know is my other self loves him tremendously. That’s what I’m honoring now.
“Where have you been?” Theo kisses my throat, my cheek. “Ever since that weird episode we had at the base—they haven’t let me see you, you haven’t been home, not even once, because God knows I went there every chance I could.”
“It’s classified.” My parents didn’t have to tell me that; it’s obvious. “I’m sorry, Theo. You know I’d explain everything if they’d let me.”
He frames my face with his hands. Theo’s soulful brown eyes drink me in. “Just tell me it’s not dangerous. If you’re safe, the rest doesn’t matter.”
“I’m safe.” For me, actually, that’s far from the truth. But I’m speaking for the Warverse Marguerite, who is now being protected as a key asset in the Firebird project. That’s probably as secure as anyone in this dimension gets. “What about you? Where are they sending you?”
“We’re being sent east, into the Rockies. That’s all I know so far. I’ll write as soon as I can, care of your parents, and tell you everything except the name of the camp. I swear.”
“You better.”
When Theo pulls me in for a kiss, I kiss him back with all the love in my heart. If this Marguerite feels for him what I feel for Paul, this is how she would kiss him goodbye. I embrace him tightly, open my mouth, as the sea breeze ruffles my hair and his warm hands stroke my back. After I leave this dimension, Warverse Marguerite will remember this moment. For her sake, and for his, I want it to be beautiful.
A whistle pierces the air, making Theo break our kiss. Already several of the soldiers around us have begun to surge in another direction, a wave that will carry Theo away. He gives me his lopsided smile, charming as ever. “If you think this was good—just wait till I tell you hello again.”
“I hope it’s soon.” Though the way this war is going, I can’t imagine how long it will be before they see each other. Months? Even years?
Or longer. During a desperate war, every time you say goodbye, you know it could be forever.
Theo kisses me once more and whispers, against my lips, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I’m using her voice to say it, using her body and mind and heart. That makes it true.
He gives me one last heartbreaking look, then turns to follow his orders and march into a war that may kill him. I watch Theo go for as long as I can make out his shape among the hordes of soldiers around me, then as long as I can convince myself that maybe I’d glimpse him again. Only when I know he’s truly, finally gone do I turn around and board the Quinteros.I have said goodbye to this Theo forever. What will I do when I’m reunited with my own?
But I don’t doubt for one second what I’m going to do when I see Triadverse’s Theo again.
I can’t feel the ocean bobbing and swelling beneath me. The enormous scale of an aircraft carrier allows it to remain steady against the waves. But as vast as this ship is—big enough to house dozens of fighter planes and a basketball court on its broad deck—once I go down inside it, claustrophobia closes in. Hallways are narrow, stairs are skinny and steep. Paul takes me to my parents and walks off without a word. I can’t worry too much about his reaction because I’m too busy trying to acclimate to my new surroundings.
The quarters my parents lead me to are about the size of my closet at home, barely big enough for the fold-down bed and the small table and chair bolted to the floor. “I think this room is even tinier than the one on the space station,” I say as I set down the small cardboard suitcase they brought for me.
“Space station?” Mom says, frowning.
“You know. From the Spaceverse. You guys heard of that one, I know you did.”
Dad pushes his glasses up his nose, the way he does when his curiosity is going into overdrive. “Yes, but we weren’t certain how that world got its moniker. Is it, well, more spacious in some way?”
“Or perhaps livable areas are rare in that universe,” Mom hypothesizes. “And a ‘space station’ could then be a place where people are able to dwell in great comfort.”
After the strange whirlwind of emotions that came from kissing Theo goodbye, it’s a relief to smile. “No, it’s nothing like that. Space as in outer space. You know, outside Earth’s atmosphere.” I point skyward.
Mom and Dad light up, and Dad is breathless as he says, “As in traveling to another planet?”
“Orbiting this one, actually.” As creeped out as I felt being up above the Earth, I can see how the idea fills them with wonder. “Mom was the commander.”
Their bedazzled expressions last only for a moment, fading so quickly that I wonder whether I’ve said something wrong. Then my mother says, “If we weren’t fighting this stupid, futile war—think of the things we could be doing, Henry. The discoveries we could have made. Instead we’re only allowed to look at other dimensions so they can teach us new weapons to build.”
“I know, Sophie.” Dad hugs her from behind, a gesture startlingly familiar despite their military uniforms and these stark, blank, gray metal surroundings. “I know.”
They’re so sad, so lost. My parents find a way to be discoverers and innovators in every world, but I never thought I’d see one where their love of invention had been even slightly soured by the uses for their creations.
“So,” I say as I hang on to my suitcase, trying to move us along. “Do I get a ship’s map or floor plan—or whatever you call it on a ship? I’d like to find the cafeteria eventually.”
That was supposed to be a joke, but my mom and dad give each other a look that clearly means, You tell her. Dad’s the one who finally says, “Well, sweetheart, you’ve got your bed and your table, a few books in your suitcase, plus a door to a private head right here—quite a luxury, by the way—and we’ll bring you your meals personally. So no worries about getting lost, no need to go wandering about.”