At first Kate merely sat in a pleasant place and allowed her
nerves to settle, after the short nap she had enjoyed in the
rocking chair. It was such a novel experience for her to sit
idle, that despite the attractions of growing things, running
water, and singing birds, she soon veered to thoughts of what she
would be doing if she were at home, and that brought her to the
fact that she was forbidden her father's house; so if she might
not go there, she was homeless. As she had known her father for
nearly nineteen years, for she had a birth anniversary coming in a
few days, she felt positive that he never would voluntarily see
her again, while with his constitution, he would live for years.
She might as well face the fact that she was homeless; and
prepare to pay her way all the year round. She wondered why she
felt so forlorn and what made the dull ache in her throat.
She remembered telling Nancy Ellen before going away to Normal
that she wished her father would drive her from home. Now that
was accomplished. She was away from home, in a place where there
was not one familiar face, object, or plan of life, but she did
not wish for it at all. She devoutly wished that she were back at
home even if she were preparing supper, in order that Nancy Ellen
might hem towels. She wondered what they were saying: her mind
was crystal clear as to what they were doing. She wondered if
Nancy Ellen would send Adam, 3d, with a parcel of cut-out sewing
for her to work on. She resolved to sew quickly and with stitches
of machine-like evenness, if it came. She wondered if Nancy Ellen
would be compelled to put off her wedding and teach the home
school in order that it might be taught by a Bates, as her father
had demanded. She wondered if Nancy Ellen was forced to this
uncongenial task, whether it would sour the wonderful sweetness
developed by her courtship, and make her so provoked that she
would not write or have anything to do with her. They were nearly
the same age; they had shared rooms, and, until recently, beds,
and whatever life brought them; now Kate lifted her head and ran
her hand against her throat to ease the ache gathering there more
intensely every minute. With eyes that did not see, she sat
staring at the sheer walls of the ravine as it ran toward the
east, where the water came tumbling and leaping down over stones
and shale bed. When at last she arose she had learned one lesson,
not in the History she carried. No matter what its disadvantages
are, having a home of any kind is vastly preferable to having
none. And the casualness of people so driven by the demands of
living and money making that they do not take time even to be
slightly courteous and kind, no matter how objectionable it may
be, still that, even that, is better than their active
displeasure. So she sat brooding and going over and over the
summer, arguing her side of the case, honestly trying to see
theirs, until she was mentally exhausted and still had
accomplished nothing further than arriving at the conclusion that
if Nancy Ellen was forced to postpone her wedding she would turn
against her and influence Robert Gray in the same feeling.