You’re mine.
The words slipped out of me, low and twisted, “Does he know?”
The Suriel clenched the robes of its new cloak in its bone-fingers. “Yes.”
“For a long while?”
“Yes. Since—”
“No. He can tell me—I want to hear it from his lips.”
The Suriel cocked its head. “You are—you are feeling too much, too fast. I cannot read it.”
“How can I possibly be his mate?” Mates were equals—matched, at least in some ways.
“He is the most powerful High Lord to ever walk this earth. You are … new. You are made of all seven High Lords. Unlike anything. Are you two not similar in that? Are you not matched?”
Mate. And he knew—he’d known.
I glanced toward the river, as if I could see all the way to the cave, to where Rhysand slept.
When I looked back at the Suriel, it was gone.
I found the pink weed, and ripped it out of the ground as I stalked back to the cave.
Mercifully, Rhys was half-awake, the layers I’d thrown on him now scattered across the blanket, and he gave me a strained smile as I entered.
I chucked the weed at him, showering his bare chest with soil. “Chew on that.”
He blinked blearily at me.
Mate.
But he obeyed, frowning at the plant before he plucked off a few leaves and started chewing. He grimaced as he swallowed. I tore off my jacket, shoved up my sleeve, and strode to him. He’d known, and kept it from me.
Had the others known? Had they guessed?
He’d—he’d promised not to lie, not to keep things from me.
And this—this most important thing in my immortal existence …
I drew a dagger across my forearm, the cut long and deep, and dropped to my knees before him. I didn’t feel the pain. “Drink this. Now.”
Rhys blinked again, brows raising, but I didn’t give him the chance to object before I gripped the back of his head, lifted my arm to his mouth, and shoved him against my skin.
He paused as my blood touched his lips. Then his mouth opened wider, his tongue brushing my arm as he sucked in my blood. One mouthful. Two. Three.
I yanked back my arm, the wound already healing, and shoved down my sleeve.
“You don’t get to ask questions,” I said, and he looked up at me, exhaustion and pain lining his face, my blood shining on his lips. Part of me hated the words, for acting like this while he was wounded, but I didn’t care. “You only get to answer them. And nothing more.”
Wariness flooded his eyes, but he nodded, biting off another mouthful of the weed and chewing.
I stared down at him, the half-Illyrian warrior who was my soul-bonded partner.
“How long have you known that I’m your mate?”
Rhys stilled. The entire world stilled.
He swallowed. “Feyre.”
“How long have you known that I’m your mate?”
“You … You ensnared the Suriel?” How he’d pieced it together, I didn’t give a shit.
“I said you don’t get to ask questions.”
I thought something like panic might have flashed over his features. He chewed again on the plant—as if it instantly helped, as if he knew that he wanted to be at his full strength to face this, face me. Color was already blooming on his cheeks, perhaps from whatever healing was in my blood.
“I suspected for a while,” Rhys said, swallowing once more. “I knew for certain when Amarantha was killing you. And when we stood on the balcony Under the Mountain—right after we were freed, I felt it snap into place between us. I think when you were Made, it … it heightened the smell of the bond. I looked at you then and the strength of it hit me like a blow.”
He’d gone wide-eyed, had stumbled back as if shocked—terrified. And had vanished.
That had been over half a year ago.
My blood pounded in my ears. “When were you going to tell me?”
“Feyre.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to yesterday. Or whenever you’d noticed that it wasn’t just a bargain between us. I hoped you might realize when I took you to bed, and—”
“Do the others know?”
“Amren and Mor do. Azriel and Cassian suspect.”
My face burned. They knew—they— “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were in love with him; you were going to marry him. And then you … you were enduring everything and it didn’t feel right to tell you.”
“I deserved to know.”
“The other night you told me you wanted a distraction, you wanted fun. Not a mating bond. And not to someone like me—a mess.” So the words I’d spat after the Court of Nightmares had haunted him.
“You promised—you promised no secrets, no games. You promised.”
Something in my chest was caving in on itself. Some part of me I’d thought long gone.
“I know I did,” Rhys said, the glow returning to his face. “You think I didn’t want to tell you? You think I liked hearing you wanted me only for amusement and release? You think it didn’t drive me out of my mind so completely that those bastards shot me out of the sky because I was too busy wondering if I should just tell you, or wait—or maybe take whatever pieces that you offered me and be happy with it? Or that maybe I should let you go so you don’t have a lifetime of assassins and High Lords hunting you down for being with me?”
“I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to hear you explain how you assumed that you knew best, that I couldn’t handle it—”