” At her words, his gaze ripped from her breasts and pounced on her face. The humor in her eyes summoned the dimple under his eye and lifted his brows.
“Do you need help?”
She shrugged with as much elegance as she could muster, and eyed him with deliberate interest.
“Do you?”
His grin broadened. “Have at it.”
She headed for the bathroom. Three weeks ago she would have been embarrassed by such a conversation. Tonight it felt comfortable.
In the bathroom she brushed her teeth and removed her clothing. She took a deep breath before emerging. What felt comfortable only moments ago now seemed bold and foolish. If only she could conquer these mood shifts.
When she re-entered the bedroom, he was propped up on a pillow, his eyes closed and the blankets tucked around his neck. He must be exhausted.
She lifted the blankets and crawled into bed feeling disappointed. They were home but still playing love tag at night. She turned off the light and pulled the covers up.
A strong hand shot out and grasped her arm.
“Alex!” she squealed in mock fear.
He laughed as he pulled her against his bare chest.
Instantly the playful mood was back. Maybe that was it. The lighthearted approach chased away embarrassment as easily as passion. Why hadn’t they tried it before? The answer was as obvious as it was embarrassing. It was how she felt about Alex. Of course she loved him, but somewhere inside she still cringed at that sinful word. She forced her lips to expel it.
“Lust,” she said in almost a whisper.
Alex released her. “What?”
“Lust,” she repeated a little louder, and then said it firmly once more. “I said lust.”
He sat up and turned on the light. “What are you talking about?”
His expression was a blend of question and concern.
She smiled up at him. “That’s what’s been bothering me all this time.”
He frowned, still perplexed. “Lust?”
“The word. It’s a sin . . . outside marriage.”
His gaze traveled over her face and then found her eyes. “Yeah, I guess. But we’re married – and have been for a long time.”
She pulled the covers up to her chin and met his gaze solemnly. “But I felt it for you before we got married.”
His eyes flashed humor that obediently avoided his lips. “I’m shocked,” he said with a straight face.
“I am a prude,” she said, still watching his face. “And I’m a hypocrite.”
All the humor vanished from his eyes as he watched her.
She sat up slowly, clutching the blanket to her chest. She stared absently at the blanket.
“I pretend like I know what’s right and wrong, but I don’t. All I know is what Mom and Dad taught me. I’ve been so focused on sin that I have been . . .” She looked up at his intent features. “That I’ve been making you miserable.”
For a moment he simply gazed into her eyes, and then he drew a deep breath. A wry smile briefly touched his lips.
“I hate to dispute you, but I’m not miserable.” He put an arm around her shoulders. “If anyone told me they could unequivocally define the exact point at which right and wrong diverge, I’d think they were either a liar or could walk on water.”
He sighed heavily. “We’re probably all a little hypocritical at times – and we’re all sinners, so I hear. Some people just put more effort into distinguishing right from wrong than others.” He squeezed her shoulders. “I admire the effort and sacrifice you put into it. I know you’re not going to be right 100% of the time. Who is?”
His words were comforting, even if they didn’t resolve her concerns. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
“I think you’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met.”
He chuckled softly. “Not hardly, but thanks anyway.”
Whether it was their conversation or the realization of what she was doing, the embarrassment about intimacy vanished. Hopefully, it would stay away.
With that behind her, she turned to another subject – one equally disturbing.
“Alex, why were you with Tessa all evening?
He frowned. “I wasn’t.”
“But Felipa said . . .”
“Felipa left the room five minutes before Tessa left. Outside of that time Señor Medena and Felipa were both present every minute that Tessa was there. Morino came in after Tessa left and Señor Medena left. I was talking with Morino until almost midnight. I’m sorry I kept you waiting, but Tessa had nothing to do with it.
Carmen smiled. “I’m sorry. I should have known.”
For a moment he studied her face. Apparently finding what he was looking for, he finally shrugged. “I guess I’d wonder too, if I were in your shoes.”
A touch of humor came into his eyes. “Are we done talking now?”
Carmen let go of the blanket she had been clutching to her chest and turned to shut her light off. In the darkness, Alex found her and pulled her into his arms. They were home now – everything was going to be better.