“You’re pretty much the den mother now, Secret.”
“So when I bailed, I wasn’t just leaving Lucas.”
“You were leaving the entire pack.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
I ran an open palm over the top of the car. “What about Desmond?” I didn’t want to hear the answer, but I needed to ask.
“He’s been waiting at the penthouse for you for months. He refuses to come out here and says protecting you was his responsibility and he failed. When he saw you in that basement, it took something out of him. He thought he was going to lose you.”
I couldn’t say anything. The difference between my two wolves became clearer every day. When I left, Lucas lost his mate, his partner in the pack. For Desmond, my running away meant he had watched me escape death only to lose me all over again, this time by my own choice. Lucas needed me to help him lead, but Desmond needed me for entirely emotional reasons. I regretted leaving him in Manhattan to come out here.
“Lucas still should have let me come back on my own.”
Dominick barked a laugh. “He’s royalty. Have you ever known royalty to wait patiently for anything?”
I smiled, only a little, but enough that the heavy thoughts around us seemed to lift.
“I missed you, Dominick.”
He scooted around the door and wrapped me up in a warm, brotherly hug. He smelled like moss and sunshine. I hugged him back. It was nice to be close to another wolf without dealing with a riot of flavor in my mouth or the intense desire to be ravished. Dominick was comforting to me because he felt like the family I’d never known.
“It’s good to have you home. I never got a chance to tell you I was happy you didn’t die.” He planted a light kiss on my forehead. “Give the boss a break on this one. You’re good for him. He didn’t know any better way to get you back.”
“I need to make him sweat it out a little longer.”
“You wouldn’t be you if you caved too soon.” He hugged me again, then added, “But go easy on my brother.”
I wanted to make a joke about just how easy I’d been on his brother, but I stopped myself. “I’ll be good.”
“Well we both know that’s not true.” He smiled and let me get into the car, then closed the door behind me.
Outside the garage, I paused to put the top down. The car’s engine purred while it idled, and I let myself enjoy the view of the stars. I’d wondered about the logic of giving a convertible to a half-vampire with an allergy to the sun. My concerns were resolved by the open air and the view of the night sky.
I was about to continue my course down the long driveway when a body vaulted itself over the passenger door and into the seat next to me.
“Hey.” Kellen Rain was beaming like a lunatic. Her blue eyes were like her brother’s, only they weren’t tainted by the worry of leadership.
“Uh.”
“Good thing you’re taking the car. I was super close to convincing Luke to give it to me.”
“Luke.” I’d never heard anyone else call him by the abbreviated form of his name, and Kellen used it so easily.
“Oh man, Secret, I swear to God, I’ve never seen anything as funny in my life as you knocking him in the pool tonight. I thought I was going to pee.” She looked away from me and to the driveway. “Are we gonna go or what?”
“Go?”
“Yeah, you know? Drive? To the city?” She pointed at the driveway. “Isn’t that where you’re going?”
“Yes.”
“Then you wouldn’t mind me tagging along, would you?” She obviously didn’t expect any other answer than yes, because she was already buckling her seat belt. I stared at her for a moment longer, until she looked back at me with a bright smile and her altogether-too-familiar eyes. I shifted the car into gear and started to drive.
As we passed the main gate and the car eased onto the main highway, I broke the silence.
“Isn’t there some sort of pack meeting in progress?”
“Sure. There always is this close to the full moon.”
“Is it okay for you to leave?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? You’ll be in more trouble for leaving than me, considering you’re pack protector. And, you know, future queen.”
“Mmm,” I grumbled, then remembered what Lucas had told me about Kellen months ago. “Wait, you’re not a werewolf, are you?”
Kellen grinned and tapped her temple. “Bingo. No, I was never ‘Awakened’.” She made condescending little air quotes around the word. “I feel plenty awake though.”
Awakening was the werewolf coming-of-age process, in which a young man or woman who carried the gene that would activate lycanthropy in them allowed themselves to be bitten by a full-fledged werewolf, thus becoming a werewolf themselves. It was an important rite of passage for werewolf families, but the choice was always up to the youth in question. Lucas opted to follow the family line, and Kellen chose to stay human.
In royal werewolf families, like the Rains, it was expected for the next generation to follow suit so the family would remain in power. Kellen had probably caused quite a stir in her family when she declined to be Awakened. It didn’t seem to bother Lucas at all.
The car headlights cut a vibrant white swath across the black highway, and yellow lines flicked by us at an alarming speed. I was going too fast, but that was the vampire in me. Overhead, a strip of stars twinkled in the purple-black sky. Stars were a rare treat when you lived in New York City, but I’d gotten used to seeing them again while living in the country. Tall trees encroached on the highway, creating an ominous coniferous hallway of nothing but blackness.
The light from the headlights also made it difficult for me to discern if anything was lurking in the dark, one of many reasons I usually walked or ran instead of driving.
“Can I ask you something, Secret?”
It took a moment for me to shake out of my distraction. On top of the varied lighting, the scents sailing by me were overwhelming. Driving with the top down was a sensory overload.
“Sure.”
“Do you love my brother?”
The car briefly swerved into the wrong lane before I caught myself, steadied the wheel and corrected the direction. “Wow.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to know.”
“I don’t know, Kellen.” I gripped the wheel a little too hard. “I haven’t known him all that long.”
“But he’s courting you, you know?” The word courting sounded strange coming from the lips of a nineteen-year-old club kid. I knew what she meant, but it was still difficult to put the concept together with the person speaking it.
“I know.”
“And you’re soul-bonded.”
“Yes.”
“So, don’t you, like, love each other by default?”
I stared at the highway. An updraft caught my hair and blew it across my face, then back up and over my head. It tickled the back of my neck. The air smelled like rain, but it wasn’t close enough to cause immediate worry.
“I care about him.”
“And what about Desmond?”
“We’re not discussing this.” I froze up, all my defenses locking into place. “We’re not discussing my relationship with Desmond.”
A thin smile spread across her lips, and I knew I’d given her all the answer she needed.
For the next hour we didn’t speak. She found the radio and contented herself with a pop station. I hated every other song, but I didn’t argue because it meant she wasn’t asking me anything. When we were within view of the city skyline, she dropped a bomb on me.
“I used to be in love with Desmond.”
I slammed on the brakes before colliding with a car that had slowed to a stop ahead of me. No longer moving, I turned and fixed my eyes on her.
“What?”
“Desmond. I was in love with him.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
She shrugged. “It’s not like it means anything. I was only fifteen, and he wanted nothing to do with me. We grew up together, so I was like a sister to him. But I guess I know what it’s like. Loving him, I mean.”
I didn’t think Kellen had any grasp on what it meant to be soul-bonded. She was human, so she’d given up her claim on experiencing the werewolf version of finding one’s soul mate. I doubted her fifteen-year-old schoolgirl crush on a then twenty-something Desmond was anything like what I felt for him. But how do you tell someone what they feel is wrong?
Chapter Twelve
After dropping Kellen off on the Upper East Side, I returned home. I walked into the apartment expecting to trip over shoes. When I didn’t, I hesitantly took off my Louboutins—now destroyed from their foray into the pool—and dropped my purse on the floor. It fell with a loud thunk where the gun met the carpet. At least the gun hadn’t gone swimming with me.
The apartment still smelled of vampire, and I sighed. Sig had said he would take care of the Brigit situation for me. Stupid, unreliable vampire.
“Brigit? Are you here?”
Rio the kitten plodded over and started rubbing against my bare ankles again. If the kitten was here, the blonde vampire couldn’t be far. My vision had adjusted to the darkness, and though there was no one else in the room, it felt like I wasn’t alone.
I shooed the kitten away with my foot, which seemed to please her because she began to purr. Hopefully Sig had fulfilled his promise about the power, because even though I could see in the dark, I didn’t necessarily want to live without light.
I found the switch on the wall and flicked it up, expecting nothing. Instead, the room was flooded with warm light, and I could see my apartment for the first time since I’d gotten home. At least Sig had been true to his word on that point. There was still the matter of the vampire I smelled, though.
“Brigit? Seriously, I’m getting annoyed. More than usual.”