“It’s not a competition,” he said, offering a small smile.
My shoulders relaxed. Travis had a way of always making me feel safe, just like Thomas. As frightening as traveling with a newborn was, knowing I was going to be with the Maddoxes soon had been a significant comfort. “How are you doing?”
He cleared his throat, putting on the truck’s blinker. “It’s been rough. I’m not looking forward to this any more than you are.”
“Where’s Abby?”
“At the hospital with everyone else.”
“The hospital? Why?” I asked, alarmed.
“The baby came last night.”
Val and I both gasped. Abby was nowhere near her due date. I immediately felt ashamed. Years ago, I’d filled Abby in on the details of Travis’s agreement with the FBI. She already had an idea, and I chose to spare Travis the burden of being the one to breach his agreement. I wouldn’t go to prison if I told her, but Travis could have. In the end, it saved their marriage. She understood why he was so secretive and leaving so often, but the truth was a burden. From the moment you become aware of a secret, the inevitable question arises: what price will you pay to keep it?
“Are they okay?” I asked.
“Abby’s doing great. Carter will be fine.”
Carter. That’s who he said made Stella look like a giant. She wasn’t yet seven pounds. Carter must have been tiny.
“That’s good to hear,” Val said, sincere. It was her way of apologizing for giving him a hard time earlier.
“Is Abby alone at the hospital?” I asked, startled.
“The whole family is there with a half dozen agents, including Agent Davies.”
“Sorry about that,” I said. “She is the best …”
“I know. You won’t have luck explaining that to Falyn, though.”
“So … they know?”
“They’d figured most of it out. They put two and two together when Agent Davies picked them up from the airport.”
I settled back into my seat, looking at Stella’s peaceful, sleeping face. She was the perfect combination of Thomas and me. She was already on a schedule, sleeping and eating at the same times. She changed every day, and Thomas was missing it.
My eyes felt wet, and I had just reached into Stella’s bag for a tissue when Travis reached back with one.
“It’s going to be okay, Liis. I promise.”
I dabbed beneath my eyes and sniffed. “It damn well better be, or the director will answer to me for a change.”
“Yes, he will. And he knows it, too.”
We drove from the outer edges of Eakins into town. It hadn’t changed much. Only businesses like oil and industrial, gas stations, boutiques, tanning salons, and fast-food chains were thriving. Anything else was pretty much abandoned.
“Is that it?” Val asked as the taller buildings of the college came into view, reaching above the tree line.
“Yeah,” Travis said, unhappy about the reminder. “Yeah, that’s it.”
The burned bricks of Keaton Hall had long since faded and the damage repaired. In the few minutes it took us to pass, Travis didn’t look in the direction of the tiny college once. I assumed it was too much of a reminder of the strange direction his life had taken because of one night—the last time he’d participate in The Circle, Eastern State’s underground fight ring. He looked away from the memories of the fire, of the night he’d nearly lost Abby.
“You know,” I said, thinking aloud. “Whether or not Thomas had offered you as sacrifice to the FBI—”
“In return for immunity,” he added.
“Yes, but between Abby’s father and Benny Carlisi, you would have been involved in this mess. In a way, the fire kept you on the right side of it.”
“I guess so,” Travis said, lost in thought. “They didn’t think I’d actually be worth a damn and turn from asset to agent, did they?”
“Actually, I think they did,” I mused. “The FBI would take all five of you if Trenton and the twins would go for it.”
“Trent?” Travis scoffed, placing an earpiece in his ear.
“He’s got heart,” I said. “Don’t forget after his accident with Camille he carried her a mile with a broken arm.”
“In two places,” Travis specified.
“Exactly.”
I caught Travis glance at the far corner of Eastern just before turning toward Mercy Hospital. We passed the street that led to the apartments where Travis and Abby fell in love and first lived, Trenton and Camille’s apartment building, the street where Shepley and America’s house sat, and then after six more blocks, he slowed.
Mercy Hospital loomed ahead, its aged, blond brick bright in the morning sun.
“Travis?” I said, angry at the sound of my voice.
“You’re okay,” Val said. “Just breathe.”
Travis found an open parking space and pulled in, twisting back the key. We sat in silence for several minutes. Not even Val dared to speak.
“I can’t!” I blurted out.
Travis pulled on the lever of his door and pushed, stepping out onto the gravel drive. “You can.” He stepped back to open the back door and reached in, swung the baby bag over his shoulder, and then reached for Stella.
“Sh-should we leave the luggage here or …?” Val began.
I looked down, feeling hot tears drip down the bridge of my nose and fall away. “I hate all of you for making me do this.”
“I’m not happy about the plan, either. But it’s still the plan. You have to do it, and you know why.” He tipped the carrier just enough that I could see the sweet face of my daughter. “If there was another way, do you think you’d be here alone?”
I shook my head and wiped my nose.
“Keep the tears,” Travis said, laying Stella’s blanket over the top of the handle to shelter her from the bright sunlight. “Tears are good.”
“Fuck you,” I said through my teeth.
A car door shut, and Val swung around, her hand on her sidearm. She relaxed, seeing Agent Hyde. “I didn’t realize you’d be joining us,” Val said.
“I’m on Agent Lindy’s protection detail,” Hyde said.
Val looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded. “She’s out of Quantico. She’s better than good. Assigned by the director.”
Val scanned Hyde from hair to shoes, sizing her up. “Is that so?”
“It’s so,” Hyde said, lifting her chin with confidence.
“It’s just Liis for now, Agent Hyde,” Travis said. “My family doesn’t know Liis’ involvement with the Bureau just yet.”
“Yes, sir,” Hyde said.
Travis closed the door and walked around to my side, helping me out and walking me to the hospital entrance. Val trailed behind. Besides Travis and I, we would have Agents Hyde, Wren, Blevins, Davies, Perkins, and Taber—all agents who’d been on this case from the beginning. All agents we trusted with the lives of our family, and the only agents besides the director who knew the truth about Thomas.
Travis touched his earpiece. “We’re on our way up,” he said simply.
The elevator door opened to an eerily quiet hallway. Hyde stepped out first, and then Travis with Stella. Val followed me, the last to leave. She seemed uneasy the moment we landed in Eakins. A nurse rushed by, startling her.