“She knows me as Nate,” Nate explained.
“Of course. I’ll try and remember. I’m sure you’ll both be very happy.”
Louise murmured thanks, feeling like a fraud. Soon enough everyone would know the truth, but she couldn’t deal with the shock of revealing it at the moment. Though perhaps Nate wanted to...
But when she glanced at him, his gaze was guarded and she couldn’t read him. It was all she could do not to sigh with a dozen conflicting emotions. Impatience at his impassive exterior. Worry about where she and Missy and a newborn baby would end up. And a long, deep ache of longing for things that always seemed just out of reach.
“Can I see your baby?”
Linette’s request thankfully drew Louise from her dark thoughts and she unwrapped Chloe, who blinked in the light and smacked her lips.
“How old is she?”
“Four days.”
Linette’s mouth dropped open. “That means you had the baby on the trail. My dear, you are a brave, strong woman.”
“The baby wasn’t due until Christmas Day.” Chloe wasn’t quite a Christmas baby, but Louise would always consider her the best Christmas gift ever. “I did what I had to do.” Slightly overwhelmed, she was grateful Nate stood at her side, near enough she felt his comforting strength.
Linette patted her arm. “You did more than many could do. Your baby is the same age as mine.” She went to a cradle in the corner and lifted out a baby. “Meet my son, Jonathan Edward.”
Louise smiled at the little boy still sleeping, even though he’d been lifted from his bed.
Then worry crowded every other thought from her mind. “He’s much sturdier looking than Chloe. Maybe there’s something wrong with her.”
Linette chuckled. “Jonathan was a rather large baby. Chloe looks perfectly fine to me. Now, all of you sit down and tell me everything.” She fixed her gaze on Nate. “Married now. I wasn’t expecting that.”
Neither was he, Louise almost blurted out.
“I’ve known Louise a long time,” Nate said. “She was widowed last spring and needed a home. Seems we were meant to be together.”
Louise wanted to thank him for making it sound so legitimate, even if every word about them belonging together was false. As soon as she had a chance to speak to him privately, she would inform him he could have the marriage annulled whenever he wanted.
And if pain shafted through her like a lightning strike, she wasn’t about to pay it any mind.
“I’ll make tea,” Linette said.
“Let me help.” Louise handed Chloe to Nate and followed her hostess, Missy right behind her.
“Oh, there’s no need. But if you want to come and visit, that would be lovely.”
Louise would help if Linette allowed it, or visit with the woman. But she would not stay alone with Nate as the word annulment burned a hole through her heart, which was plumb foolish. She’d known from the first the marriage was pretend. She hadn’t meant to get so comfortable with the idea of being with him as partners, joint caregivers of the baby and so much more she could not admit at the moment.
If she hadn’t been the cause of him losing his ranch, she might have asked him to continue the pretend marriage. Maybe even make it real. Her chest muscles tightened, so she couldn’t suck in a satisfying breath. She longed to be special to him. Even as he’d always been so special to her from the first day she saw him. The feeling had grown stronger as they’d talked and played together. As they’d shared meals at the Porter home and enjoyed time with the family that had become their surrogate family.
But she had never been anything but another girl. Nate had made that clear when he rode out of her life.
Something flared through her thoughts. He’d tried to convince her to leave with him after the Porters died. Had he cared about her back then and she was so busy trying to keep things from changing that she never saw it?
Had she been the cause of hurting him then?
As well as the cause of him losing his dream now?
Oh, how she wished she could undo all her mistakes.
Linette and Missy had prepared tea as Louise stood around lost in her thoughts. Missy insisted on carrying the tray.