"We e-mailed each other for a while," Will confessed.
Grace had never mentioned that to Olivia. "Really?"
"It was no big deal—we're just friends."
The conversation stopped and started after that, with a few more questions about Grace, until finally he ended it. Olivia returned to her dinner plans. Not until she was putting the finishing touches on the grilled Pacific salmon, wild rice and steamed asparagus did it hit her. Her brother was obviously concerned about their mother's relationship with Ben and perhaps rightly so; that remained to be seen. But he had another agenda. And it had to do with Grace.
He seemed awfully curious about her, Olivia mused. More than once he'd drawn the conversation back to her friend, asking her what Grace was up to and whether she was seeing anyone. If they'd been e-mailing each other, then wouldn't he know how Grace was doing?
Just as she started to put a few ideas together—very tentatively—the back door opened and in walked Jack. "You're looking thoughtful," he observed, standing in the doorway off the kitchen.
"Jack!" Not hesitating, she flew into her husband's arms and spread eager kisses across his face.
Jack locked his hands at the small of her back, smiling down on her. "A husband could get accustomed to this sort of reception." He kissed her soundly in return.
Olivia rested her head against his shoulder and sighed, loving the comfort of Jack's arms around her. "I just had the most...disconcerting conversation with my brother."
"What about?"
Olivia told him but excluded the portion about Will's repeated questions regarding Grace.
"Are you going to contact Roy?" Jack asked when she'd finished.
"I suppose I should. Will was concerned and although I think he's overreacting, it can't hurt to know for sure. I guess there's always a chance that Ben's a con man. The clever ones usually have the most convincing aliases. But the truth of it is, I hate the thought of Mom finding out what we've done."
Jack didn't say anything for a long moment. "You can trust Roy not to let any of this out," he finally said.
"I realize that."
Jack shrugged. "Personally, I don't think having Ben investigated is all that necessary."
"Me neither," she concurred, but she'd decided to do it— if only to reassure her brother.
After dinner Olivia and Jack cuddled in front of the television for a repeat episode of Law & Order. Olivia had seen this particular show earlier in the year, although Jack hadn't. She didn't object to watching a rerun, but she found herself returning to the conversation with her brother.
Will had talked about e-mailing Grace. Then there was all his interest in what she was doing, whom she was seeing. Although he hadn't actually said anything, she'd sensed Will's disapproval of Grace's participation in the Dog and Bachelor Auction.
A few months ago, Grace had gotten involved in an Internet relationship with a married man. Her friend had been duped, lied to and strung along. Now, with a growing sense of horror, Olivia wondered if that man could have been her brother. Grace's heart was broken after the end of her romance with Cliff Harding, and that was when she'd told Olivia about the other relationship, accepting the blame for her role in this fiasco. Grace had never revealed the name of the married man. At the time Olivia had assumed it didn't matter, that she wouldn't have known who it was, anyway.
Now she wondered. Could it possibly have been Will?
She tried to dismiss the thought. No, of course not! Her brother would never do anything so underhanded. And if he had, surely Grace would have told her. But if what Olivia suspected was true, it explained Will's weak excuse about not being able to attend her wedding.
"Something on your mind?" Jack asked during a commercial break. His mouth was close to her ear and he took advantage of her closeness to kiss the side of her neck.
"Hmm." Olivia closed her eyes and reveled in his attention.
'This whole thing with your mother and Ben is worrying you, isn't it?"
"Not really," she muttered. She debated mentioning her suspicions about Grace and her brother, but changed her mind. If she said anything, it would be to Grace—but only after she'd had time to sort through the facts as she knew them. Until then, it would be better to say nothing, not to Jack and not to anyone else.
"Good," Jack whispered, tucking his arms more securely around her. "I'd hate to have anything disrupt our television viewing."
Smiling to herself, Olivia poked him in the ribs with her elbow. She'd been doing a lot of smiling since she'd married Jack Griffin, and she didn't think that would change anytime soon.
Thirteen
Cecilia pushed the grocery cart lethargically through the commissary's aisles. She'd been so excited about having her husband home after six months' deployment, counting the days until Ian would be with her again. She'd made elaborate plans for his homecoming and wanted their reunion to be like a second honeymoon. She'd prayed her husband would be as eager to start their family as she was. Only he hadn't been, and now it seemed nothing had gone the way she'd hoped.
"Hey, Cecilia."
At the sound of her name, Cecilia turned to find Cathy Lackey wheeling her grocery cart down the aisle toward her. "I thought that was you," Cathy said.
Cecilia managed a token smile. "How's it going?"
"Great. I left father and son to bond. I'm taking my own sweet time shopping because, frankly, I could use the break. Where's Ian?"
"Home." Cecilia couldn't disguise her misery. "Oh, Cathy, things just aren't working out between us."
"What do you mean?"
Cecilia reached inside her purse for a tissue, humiliated about breaking down in the cereal aisle where anyone might see her.
Cathy glanced over her shoulder. "Listen, let's meet in half an hour at Starbucks. Does that work for you?"
Cecilia nodded. Cathy was the one person in the world she could talk to about her most private concerns. Cathy would understand better than most people, and Cecilia realized she needed her friends more than ever.
Sure enough, Cathy was waiting for her at Starbucks. She was on the patio and had already bought them each a cup of coffee. Because the day was warm and sunny, most of the customers were sitting outside.
"All right, tell me what's happening," Cathy said when Cecilia slid into the chair across from her.
Cecilia picked up her coffee and hung her head, staring at the tabletop. "This homecoming is a complete disaster."
"How do you mean?"
"In the four weeks Ian's been home, we've barely made love." She was embarrassed to be talking about the intimate details of her marriage, even to Cathy, but she could no longer hide her unhappiness. Ian made excuses to stay away from her and it was killing her.
Cecilia looked up to see her friend frowning.
"What's wrong?"
Cecilia bit her lip to keep from crying. "I assumed Ian would want to start our family, but he doesn't. He wants me back on birth control before we make love on a regular basis."
"Are you?"
"Not yet, but my period's due soon. We've used protection, but Ian is adamant—I'm supposed to go back on the pill. Until then it's like I'm his sister. He won't even look at me and I hate it."
"He doesn't want a baby?"
Cecilia shook her head. "Every time I try to mention it, he changes the subject."
Cathy nodded sympathetically.
"Last week, when I refused to let him sidetrack me, he blew up and said he wasn't ready to be a father yet. I asked him when he would be ready and do you know what he said?" She didn't wait for her friend to respond. "Ian said he didn't think he'd ever be ready." Cecilia covered her face with both hands, distraught and weepy.
Cathy placed her hand on Cecilia's forearm. "Do you remember when I told you that I miscarried twice before Andy?"
Cecilia lowered her hands and nodded. She hated being so emotional, but she couldn't help it. She'd created a million romantic fantasies centered on their reunion and everything had gone wrong. Nothing she said or did seemed to work.
"After I miscarried the second time, I was afraid it was the end of my love life. It was as if Andrew had completely lost interest in me as his wife."
Cecilia had trouble believing it. "Andrew?"
Cathy's eyes filled with tears. "The miscarriages affected my husband in ways I didn't understand. I was so wrapped up in me that I didn't see what losing the pregnancies had done to Andrew. He was afraid to make love to me, afraid I'd get pregnant again—afraid I'd suffer again. I was convinced he didn't want me because I couldn't carry his child. And that wasn't it at all." Cathy paused and swallowed visibly. "Our minds play crazy games with us, don't they?"
Cecilia wasn't sure that applied to her situation. Ian was far more vocal about his feelings than Andrew had been, from the sound of it. Ian and Cecilia had worked hard on their communication skills and had learned to be more straightforward in expressing their needs and feelings.
Now this.
"What about that little outfit you bought from the Victoria's Secret catalog?" Cathy asked, lowering her voice to a whisper. "The one you sent him..."
Cecilia shrugged uncomfortably. "I haven't even put it on. Ian was in too much of a hurry the first night and then, well... he just hasn't been all that interested since."
Cathy laughed. "Oh, he's interested, all right, but he's also afraid. If he's in a bad temper.
"He is," Cecilia confirmed. She couldn't remember her husband ever being as moody as he'd been this last month.
"You know why, don't you," Cathy said, smiling now. "He's frustrated."
"There's no reason for him to be frustrated. I'm ready, willing and able," Cecilia muttered irritably.
"Then let him know that."
"You think?" She hated to feel this hopeful after being disappointed again and again.
Cathy smiled. "Why don't you give that sexy little outfit a try and find out for yourself?"
The question stayed with Cecilia as she drove home, the truck filled with groceries. Her husband was working in the garage attached to their duplex when she returned. He was messing around with an old motorcycle a friend had given him, the engine disassembled and various parts laid out on a tarp. Cecilia had forgotten they even had the thing. Wordlessly he helped her unload the groceries and then went back to whatever he was doing that involved so much of his concentration. She didn't disturb him.
At six, she called Ian inside for dinner. She'd made lasagna, one of his favorite dishes, and he praised her efforts. Cecilia glowed at his approval and waited until Ian was in bed reading before she took a long, hot shower. Heart pounding, she donned the sexy black outfit.
As well as she could, she checked her reflection in the bathroom mirror. With steam from her shower fogging up the view, it was hard to tell if she looked sexy. To be on the safe side, she liberally doused perfume on her wrists and behind both ears.
If her heart was beating hard earlier, it didn't compare with the frantic explosion going on inside her chest when she opened the bathroom door and posed there, one arm raised and resting against the doorframe.
Ian sat in bed reading. His bedside lamp cast a warm glow about the room. He seemed to be deeply involved in his novel and for a moment didn't pay her any heed. When he did happen to glance up to see her standing in the doorway, his mouth fell open.