Goddess, I'm out of my mind for following her in here.
"Ariana!" His voice barely carried in the wind's tunnel-like roar. Ahead, he could see nothing but more twisting curves. But Ariana was up there. She had to be.
Kougar began to swim, propelling himself forward with hard sweeps of his arms, praying he wasn't simply accelerating his own rendezvous with death. Though what difference did it make? Unless he could reach Ariana, none at all.
Over and over, he swam forward, his pulse pounding with adrenaline, his mind narrowed, focused on only one thing. Finally, as he turned a corner, the dark light flashed, and he saw her. She was still spinning slowly, bonelessly, her dark hair floating out around her.
Unconscious.
"Ariana!" Kougar gave a hard pull with his arms, gliding forward. Hookeye's sightless eyes stared at him as he drew close, her feet and their burden trailing her as she floated headfirst toward the trap.
Another push forward, and he was able to grab hold of her leg. With a massive sigh of relief, he pulled her into his arms, but he was moving too fast, the force of his momentum propelling them forward. Too fast. Kicking hard the other way, Kougar tried to slow them down. He might not be able to see the spirit trap yet, but he knew it was there, waiting to send them to their deaths.
When he'd done all he could to slow their forward motion, Kougar pulled Ariana against his heart, stroking her ice-cold face, his chest seizing with his need to save her.
"Wake up, Ariana. Wake up, my love." When she didn't stir, he lifted her face to his and kissed her, sliding his tongue along the crease of her unresponsive lips. Sweet, sweet lips that no longer possessed even the slightest tang of darkness. She was finally free of the poison that had consumed her life for so long. It almost killed him that she might never have the chance to enjoy that freedom.
The light flashed again, revealing a throbbing, malevolent darkness no more than a dozen yards away.
The spirit trap.
His heart stopped, then thundered like a herd of horses. At the rate they were traveling, they had mere minutes before they reached it. Before it was over.
"Goddess, Ariana."
He felt a light pulsing in the mating bond, the soft glow of connection. Inside, his cat began to growl and hiss, urging him to do . . . something. A picture flashed in his mind, the cougar at the end of the mating bond, scratching at it as if trying to get in. As if he wanted him to open it.
What the hell? The mating bond was already open, like an untwisted straw. That was the reason the poison had been able to reach him.
Except that wasn't what his cat was asking of him, he realized. If the bond was a small, mystical tube running between them, heart to heart, at either end was a cap. Or perhaps a fine mesh filter. A small separation allowing each of them a measure of privacy. It was that that the damned animal wanted him to do away with. He wanted him to open it completely.
Hell no. The mating bond was open enough. He already felt Ariana's strongest emotions bursting through from time to time. A man needed some measure of solitude.
His cat growled.
Inside, he began to quake as he remembered Ariana's accusation, that he'd never opened himself to her.
Yes, but she hadn't been talking about the mating bond.
Of course she'd been talking about the mating bond. About opening himself completely, mind, body, heart, and soul. Holding nothing back. Nothing.
The thought of it made his hackles rise. He didn't share himself like that with anyone.
And what if I do? What if let her in, fully?
He waited for that sick feeling to punch him in the gut, but felt only a warm wash of love and rightness at the thought of pulling her inside him, tucking her into his heart, and never letting her go.
It was what he wanted.
Goddess, that's what I have to do. I have to open that bond. Then, maybe I can reach her.
But how?
The answer, he knew, lay inside. In his heart and the mating bond.
He pulled her tight against him as they spun through the wormhole, cradling her head on his shoulder and thought about how much he loved her, how much he'd always loved her. How much he needed her.
But nothing happened.
Fuck. How was he supposed to open the thing?
Dark lights flashed around him, illuminating the pulsing blackness of the trap.
They were nearly there.
His pulse thudded in his ears.
He had to find a way to open his heart! He imagined ripping the end off the bond, much as his cat had, clawing at it to reach Ariana. Inside, he felt the bond throbbing, felt his heart cracking. Just a little. Not enough!
I'm a warrior, dammit!
Give him a blade or fangs, and he could battle anything, but this was beyond him.
Goddess.
If only Ariana could help him. She'd know what to do, he felt certain. Ariana. Desperation to save her pounded in his mind.
Love for her surged inside him, thicker, blinding, swelling until it threatened to break his ribs. For a moment, he thought it had, as he felt the walls of his chest crack. No, not his chest.
His heart burst open, the mating bond wrenching wide, flooding his mind and body with warmth, and with a light he thought might be bright enough to make him glow.
Love flowed into him with the nectar-sweetness of Ilina song. Ariana's love.
The mating bond glistened and sparkled like a crystal rainbow, casting away all the dark shadows inside him. He drank of her love, letting it seep into his cells and his bones, blending with the overwhelming love he felt for her, then he poured it back into the bond, into her.
"Ariana, come back to me."
The light flashed behind them. In front, lay nothing but the black void of the trap.
"Ariana!"
Kougar? Her voice sounded thin and distant in his head, but his pulse quickened with hope.
"Sweetheart, you must wake up, or you're going to die. We're both going to die."
What did you do? Her voice was stronger this time, closer, and filled with wonder as if she, too, were looking at crystal rainbows.
"I love you, Ariana. Completely. Heart and soul." His pulse thundered, his hands shaking. "Wake up, sweetheart, and turn to mist. Now!"
Beneath his touch, she stirred. As he held his breath, her lashes fluttered gently, and rose.
If he'd been standing, his knees would have buckled beneath him.
"Turn to mist, Ariana. Quickly!"
Confusion clouded her eyes. "Kougar?"
He gripped her face, his hand shaking with urgency. "Ariana, we're in the Syphian wormhole, about to enter the spirit trap. And you're flesh. You must turn to mist, or you'll die!" She met his gaze. "We'll both die."
The confusion cleared, her face taking on a mask of concentration as she lifted her head. As they reached the dark void of the spirit trap, Ariana dissolved, turning to mist in his arms. And then she was inside him, wrapping him in her Ilina energy, filling him with elation.
The darkness swallowed them, stealing his sight and senses, but for Ariana. He felt her energy caressing him and her love filling him, flowing through his blood and dancing through his mind, embracing him inside and out.
His cat leaped, sensing the other animals nearby. He tried to talk, but he could no longer feel his body even to do that. The trap had stolen his ability to move. All he could do was trust Ariana to get his brothers and him out of there. And he did trust her, he realized. Implicitly.
Though he could feel nothing, his cat roared inside with anxious excitement. Time ceased to exist. And suddenly, he was moving again at a startling speed, the lights of the wormhole once more pulsing around him. As they shot into a blast of cold Himalayan air, he saw Tighe and Hawke caught fast in Ariana's energy glow. They were unconscious, at best, their big bodies hanging lifeless on either side of her.
His gut clenched, then released slowly as he heard two faint, thready heartbeats. They weren't too late.
A Feral shout of triumph exploded beneath them, then slowly went silent as Ariana set them on the ground among their brothers and the Feral wives. Melisande must have gone to get the women from Feral House.
The Ferals surged forward, catching Tighe and Hawke out of Ariana's energy grasp, then laying them on the ground as Ariana released Kougar and turned to flesh beside him.
He grabbed her to him with shaking hands, kissing her with joy and relief and the love that had burst inside him as they'd joined within the mating bond. A brilliant light that showed no sign of abating. Ever.
"You did it," he murmured, pulling back.
A smile broke over her beloved face. "We did it."
He smiled. "Yes, we did." But when he would have lost himself in her eyes and told her again what was in his heart, she pulled away.
"I have to see them." Her maidens stood on the other side of the yard, watching her with a mix of worry and relief, confusion and pain, as many suffered the growth of new limbs.
With difficulty, he released her and watched her hurry away from him, to her people. Watched as they surged around her.
He swallowed and turned back to his own. Delaney clung to Tighe, while Lyon pulled her gently away, calling for Kara's radiance and asking for Skye to try to help their animals.
Kougar's gaze returned to Ariana. Like a mother with her children, she touched and embraced and murmured soft words to the women he knew to be her life and heart. While on the other side of him, Kara administered radiance, glowing like a thousand-watt bulb, and Skye danced the dance of a Mage enchantress, drawing on her rare skill as a caller of animals to help heal his friends.
He stood between the two groups, needing Ariana, yet unable to walk away from his own any more than she could her maidens.
Was this to be their world then? Together, yet destined always to be apart? No, not always. Once the threat of Satanan's rising was quelled, he'd have more time to spend with her. And he would spend every moment he could. The situation wasn't perfect, but he knew it didn't matter.
He wasn't losing her again.
He wasn't living without her.
Kara released the radiance, and Delaney rushed in to hold her still-unconscious mate.
Moments later, Skye stopped dancing and walked to Paenther. "Their animals are suffering, but they're alive and still minimally connected to the men. Tighe's is the stronger of the two."
Everyone looked at her in surprise.
"I thought the babe was killing him faster," Lyon said.
"He might have been, but Tighe had an advantage Hawke didn't have. Tighe had Delaney to help keep him tethered. Hawke had no one. I've done all I can for now."
"Are they strong enough to transport back to Feral House?"
Skye nodded. "Yes, thanks to Kara's radiance. We'll continue to strengthen them as we can, but ultimately it's up to the warriors."
"They'll fight their way through this." Lyon's voice commanded it be so.
Growls of assent filled the air. The alternative was unthinkable.
Lyon turned to Kougar. "We'll need the Ilinas' assistance to get home."
Kougar nodded, joining him. "What about the vortex? And the Mage?" Though the wind was whipping it up, Mother Nature was far from throwing a tantrum as she would have if they'd killed many more than Hookeye.
"The vortex closed on its own a few minutes after you left," Lyon said. "As for the other . . ."
Jag chuckled. "Had us a little Mage-throwing contest, right off the mountain. Sorry you missed it, Kougar-man."
"I won," Wulfe said.
Jag scoffed. "No way, Dog. It wasn't how many you could throw at once, it was how far you could throw them."
"I won." A smile twitched at Wulfe's scarred mouth. "And don't call me Dog."
Kougar left them to their good-natured argument and started toward the throng of Ilinas and their queen. A low, warrior-type cheer went up from the women, and Ariana turned away from them, starting toward him.
They met halfway between the two groups, Ariana's eyes once more laser-bright and clear of the grief and worry of the past hours, her cheeks flushed with a health he hadn't seen in her since she'd been poisoned all those years ago. If possible, she was even more beautiful than before.
As she reached him, her eyes filled with a love his heart couldn't contain. She reached for him, and he took her hands, but neither spoke, their eyes sharing all that was inside them.
"I'd thought I loved you," Kougar said quietly, breaking the warm, full silence. "And I did, but with my heart all but closed, that love was a shadow of what it should have been." He released her hands and took her face in his palms. "A shadow of what I feel now. Be my mate, Ariana. For now. For always."
She met his gaze with eyes swimming in love. "Yes."
He grinned, a swift, fierce, triumphant baring of teeth. "You're mine, Ariana. I refuse to live without you again."
"And I, you."
They stared into one another's eyes, and he felt as if he were drowning in love, in the rightness. And yet some things hadn't changed. Some of his happiness slipped away.
"We're at war with the Mage. I can't forsake my brothers. And I know your maidens need you; but when it's over, we'll be together. Somehow, we'll be together even if I have to . . ."
She lifted a single finger and pressed it against his lips, silencing him. "We'll be together now."
His heart clenched. "I can't . . ."
"But I can. I realized something today in the midst of all this. All these years, I've believed my mistake was in thinking I could be both queen to my people and mate to you. I thought that if I hadn't tried to be both, none of this would have happened. I thought I had to choose one or the other. And being queen isn't a choice."
"And now?" he asked quietly.