“J.B. is my friend,” I said. “I wouldn’t leave any friend in Titania’s hands.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Beezle said.
Samiel tapped my shoulder so I would look at him. It’s worth a try. It doesn’t mean you don’t love Gabriel.
Samiel’s consent made me feel even more embarrassed and confused.
“I don’t…I can’t…” I said.
“We’ll all give you some privacy if it makes you feel better,” Beezle said. “But the only way we’re going to get out of here is to fly. And the only way to fly is if J.B. can move under his own power.”
“And what if this doesn’t work, smarty-pants?” I asked.
“Then we’ll try something else,” Beezle said. “But I’m betting it will work. And you know I’m always right.”
“I don’t know how you fit such a huge ego in that tiny head,” I said.
“The same way I can fit a pound of chicken wings in this tiny body,” Beezle said. “Mad skillz.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll try it,” I said. My cheeks were on fire, and I couldn’t look directly at Nathaniel. I pointed toward the mountain. “Everyone just walk that way for a while.”
“How far?” Beezle asked.
“Just keep walking until either I call you or we catch up,” I said. “I am definitely not doing this with an audience.”
“You know, Jude can hear everything for about a mile in any direction,” Beezle said. “Privacy is really an illusion.”
“Just go!” I said.
“All right, all right. No need to get huffy,” Beezle said.
They all left except Nathaniel, who stood there for a moment while I determinedly stared at the ground.
“This doesn’t mean I’m choosing,” I said finally, looking up at him.
He looked back at me with Puck’s eyes. It was disconcerting to see those eyes in Nathaniel’s face.
He said nothing, just nodded and turned to follow the others.
J.B. lay still on the ground. His eyes were closed, his breath smooth and even. I’d been so focused on his injuries that I hadn’t noticed his clothes. Now I realized that he was dressed for work in his favorite gray pants and a blue button-down. Both pieces were torn and liberally stained with blood, and his socks and shoes were gone.
He looked so unlike himself, lying there in the grass. J.B. was always moving, always shouting, always calculating the solution to the next problem. He wasn’t a beaten thing, a broken toy that Titania had thrown away. He was J.B., and Beezle was right. I did love him.
I just didn’t know what kind of love it was, and Gabriel’s shadow was still with me. It was too soon to make any kind of decision. It felt like circumstance was forcing me to move on, to choose. I didn’t want to choose. I wanted to do things in my own time and in my own way, the same way I did everything else.
Nathaniel or J.B. J.B. or Nathaniel. Part of me just wanted to not have to choose at all, to have Gabriel back.
I knelt beside J.B., brushed my hand over his forehead. I didn’t have to decide now. I just needed to wake him up, to get us all home safely.
I bent closer, until I could feel his slow exhalations on my mouth. This had to work.
“Wake up, J.B.,” I said, and I kissed him.
His lips were warm but yielding, and it seemed like it wasn’t going to happen. And if I kissed J.B. for nothing, then I was going to hide all the popcorn from Beezle for the next month.
J.B. groaned, and shifted in the dirt. I pulled away, grabbing his shoulders.
“J.B.?” I said, shaking him a little.
He opened his eyes. They were bleary, and it took a second for him to focus.
“Maddy?” he said. “Were you kissing me?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Now you kiss me? While I’m unconscious?”
“Beezle said it was the only way to wake you up.”
“I’m going to buy that gargoyle all the popcorn he can eat,” J.B. said.
His arms wrapped around my waist, pulled me on top of him and rolled us over until I was underneath him. He did this so fast that I didn’t really have time to process what was happening.
“Um, J.B.?” I said.
“Shh,” he said. “I was asleep for the last one.”
And then he kissed me. The sun shone down on us, warm and comforting. The grass rustled in the wind. All that was between us was breath and air, and I felt a sweet peace, one I hadn’t felt in a long time.
There was no madness of magic and desire like there was when I was with Nathaniel. J.B. didn’t push me. He didn’t ask for more than I could give.
He kissed me one last time, and then lifted his head. I opened my eyes to look at him. He brushed his hand through my hair.
“Your hair grew back,” he said. “How long was I gone?”
“Only a day,” I said, and pressed his shoulders so that he would get off me.
“I imagine there’s an interesting story about why your hair is back, then,” he said.
“Yeah, interesting,” I said. And I have no intention of ever telling it to you.
He rolled to the side and then to his feet. He shielded his eyes from the sun, squinting in the direction the others had gone.
“Is that Chloe?” he asked. “I can see a purple blob kind of floating above the grass.”
“Yeah, and Jude and Samiel and Nathaniel and Beezle,” I said, standing up and brushing dirt from my pants.